Not gonna write itself!

Starting back with thoughts stemming from New Year's Eve and Day...

Both were spent with a good friend of ours who wanted to get in one last quality hang-out before DH and I were unavailable. The three of us had a grand old time at the pub, at the ranch, and in town over about 24 hours. We dropped Draco (the friend) back at his place on our own way home, and each of us did some blogging about the experience, as is our norm.

It was a minor thing, but Draco casually mentioned that part of the occasion was DH leaving for boot camp. The post was public, so I asked him to remove that detail about boot camp. While Draco was easy-going about editing, it led to me spending a few minutes trying to explain why DH isn't fully public about his decision to join the Marines.

It's not a secret under lock and key by any means. Our families and most of our personal friends are in the loop, and anyone who did some serious snooping could stumble upon mention of DH's plans. Certain friends, however, and the casual fans of DH's artwork haven't heard about it. They may have picked up on the fact that he's leaving for three months, but not where he's going or why.

The largest reason for keeping DH's enlisting under our hats is, I believe, a noble one: he doesn't want to have any kind of reputation or status hullabaloo over something he hasn't done yet. A minor part of this reasons is not wanting to jinx it or have people paying close attention until it's a sure thing.

Being incapable of finishing boot camp and receiving his Eagle, Globe, and Anchor is not part of DH's vocabulary, but I think it's wise that he doesn't want to tempt fate by saying what he will be. Especially considering how long he's been in the Delayed Entry Process.

I'm fairly confident that waiting for the big reveal until he has something concrete to show would be the case even if backlash for joining the Marines wasn't a concern. I don't mean a kind of backlash that will result in retribution or harm or slander, just one of dramatic hullabaloo that is exhausting to deal with. DH and I experienced some (he more than I) with our sudden marriage at a relatively young age*.

Even among the closer friends who we told late last spring about DH's move towards the military, some initially told him they thought he was making a mistake that could damage his art career. While that argument was rational and well-meaning, other "concerned" friends are expected to have much more visceral reactions.

I'd say that it's merely the fact that a lot of the people he knows through the internet as a result of his art are the sort of left wing pacifists who refuse to understand the honor involved in joining the United States Marines. These are seldom people he devoted time and effort to befriending, but ones who were drawn to his awesomeness like moths to a flame. I'm fairly sure that these aggressive pacifists would also make Iraq and other US military efforts an issue in their reactions to DH's decision, but Iraq and Afghanistan didn't rank among his top 10 reasons for enlisting. As far as people who are simply anti-military... well, I guess they don't grasp the necessity of warriors.

Over the past months I've been complicit in the "need to know" policy of giving out information about DH's pending military status, and it's been easy, as I don't have much contact with the contingent he's waiting to tell. In my own group of people, DH has been fine with me sharing what's been going on in our lives with people who have no reason to pass it on or make a big deal about it. The only aspect of this method if intel control that I've ever worried about is people coming to me when he's out of contact for three months. We talked about it over NYE, and DH actually suggested that I mess with their heads a little bit, pretending not to know what they're talking about. I have to say, if I never get the chance, I might be a tiny bit disappointed.


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* We met when we were both 21, started dating 1.5 months after meeting, got engaged after 2 months of dating, and married 2 months after that.