Around my neck

Yesterday as I was removing my necklaces to take a shower, this one broke a little. It's just hemp string, so I tie it on every morning. It still fits, but as the string continues to fall apart, I may need to find a replacement. For the string.

Seeing the broken bit on the bathroom counter this morning, my mind quickly hopped along the rails of association and reminded me of the significance of this simple necklace of a ceramic bear bead.

I've had the bead since 2005 and of course there have been attachments to it since, well, it's a bear, and bears have been one of my animals for years. But this particular necklace gained special significance since early April 4, 2006.

I was sitting in my car with DH; it was probably night. We were in the parking lot of his mom's apartment complex, and it was the last time I was going to see my faux-ancé* for a whole six. I had applied to Savannah College of Art and Design, and my parents were taking me back there to check out the school and the city. That was the first time in our budding romance that we had been apart for so long, possibly the second time since we had met.


(*We did a fake engagement for April Fool's day... then got real engaged less than a month later.)

In any case, DH and I were spending a few more minutes together before I had to drive up to my parents' house. I had a couple small tokens to give him before the long separation. One was a ceramic bear bead, twin of my own, for him to hold on to while I was gone. In retrospect I can't tell if it was sweet or exceedingly egocentric. I'll have to ask DH when I see him again. But it seemed like a good idea at the time.

But I still wear mine and think of him, more appropriate than ever, now that we're out of contact again. This separation, however, is much more excruciating than that one was. (And have I mentioned it's been more than a week since I've heard from him? Again?)

As short as the string that bear hangs on is, I like how it lands in the hollow of my throat.



The other, uneven, cord you see is for the other necklace I have with strong DH associations. But they have a much happier origin. The first time he and I went to the local Renaissance Faire, he bought me a pendant. It was from the booth where you pick out the image and the metal, then they use a large pounding contraption to imprint it right there in front of you.




Bear on one side, lion on the other. Even if astrology is something I laugh about, I am a Leo.

I love the weight of it, and how it absorbs heat through contact with my skin. Occasionally feeling something warm and heavy resting against my chest is a small reminder of my husband.

For good measure and a full inventory of the jewelry I wear every day: our rings.




From bottom to top: My wedding band, my engagement ring (the middle one's a sapphire in light blue, bastardized by bad lighting), and DH's wedding band. I'm holding onto it till he's out of boot camp.