T Minus One Day

Last night DH asked me to wake him up when I got up.

This morning I woke up at 7 and he told me he didn't fall asleep till close to 2 and asked for an extra hour (of course, dear :) ).

Now it's the hour later and I have to make the determination to let him sleep more and write about the party last night and how I'm doing right now, or wake him up so he can make me breakfast.

Or I can wake him up and ask if he wants more sleep.

...

He asked for 30 minutes more. Writing it is!

I have about 12 posts in draft format, some of which are time-sensitive for times that have passed. I still plan to write them up to the best of my ability.

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Part of me is very very calm. Not worried at all. Actually, that's wrong. Most of me is not worried at all. The closer we get to DH leaving, the more confident I am that I'll hold it together and be just fine while he's gone. So fine that I won't even need this blog as a coping mechanism.

Not to say that I won't miss him, I will! But for all I love him, I doubt that I'm going to miss him in a gut wrenching way. I tell myself "change is coming, nothing will ever be the same", but deep down I am very assured that this exact situation will come up again. I'm pretty sure that during his 10 day leave in April, we'll spend time here at my parent's house. He'll be sleeping, I'll be up early writing or surfing the net.

Five percent of my mind is going crazy... because it thinks it should be. That part is aghast at how calm most of my brain is.

Ten percent of my mind is calm, but looks warily at the neurotic five percent, wondering if maybe that 5% is right, and this is something to freak out about.

The remaining 85% is chill. Confident in DH's ability to hack it (physically) in boot camp, and his ability to play the mental game. Also confident in my own ability to be happy and productive in his absence.

(Writing time is up, reflections on the send-off party later)